(Even If You'd Rather Vanish)
Let’s be honest: most people hate having their photo taken!
Whether it's for your wedding or your brand, the whole process can feel weirdly vulnerable. I get it. I’m not just a photographer, I’ve actually worked in front of the camera too, both as a model and as a mentor for other models in the alternative industry. And yes, even with that experience, I still cringe at the idea of being in front of the lens. (Seriously!)
The good news? You don’t have to magically become a model to get photos that feel like you.
Here’s how to actually feel comfortable in front of the camera, without the awkwardness.
1. You’re Not Alone (Honestly, You’re the Norm)
Feeling awkward is basically universal. Most folks I photograph tell me they’re nervous, whether it's for moody wedding portraits or bold branding shoots. The myth of the effortlessly photogenic person? Mostly nonsense.
I’ve been photographing people for over 14 years, but I only truly shifted my focus towards wedding photography after my own wedding experience. My wedding photographer was a disaster! No connection, no care, just stiff poses. It left me determined to do things differently. I know what it feels like to look back at photos and not recognise yourself in them. That hollow, disappointed feeling? It sticks. My job now is to make sure you never feel that way.
2. Choose a Photographer You Actually Trust
To me: photography is about connection, not poses.
Pick someone whose work resonates with you, but also who feels like a safe person to be around. Ask them about their approach. Do they use inclusive, trauma-aware, and sensory-friendly methods? Offer flexibility in shoot length and pacing? Encourage collaboration rather than rigid direction?
Trust me, the right photographer makes everything easier. When I work with clients, I prioritise trust above all else. I don’t just show up with a camera and expect magic. We chat, we laugh, we get comfortable. I listen to your needs, your energy levels, your boundaries. You deserve to feel safe in front of the lens.
3. Forget Posing. Movement Is Your Friend.
Posing can feel stiff and unnatural. Instead, focus on movement. Some of my favourite prompts:
- Fidget with your jacket, jewellery, or a cup of coffee.
- Look away from the camera and then back gently.
- Sway or rock on your feet (especially soothing for neurodivergent folks)
- Feeling brave? Try a Hollywood Dip Kiss
- (Or my all time favourite) kiss with your teeth! (Bizarre? Yes! Epic photo's? ABSOLUTELY!)
Movement makes everything feel less forced and more like you. The goal isn’t to look perfect. It’s to capture the way you naturally exist in the world. Your nervous fidgeting? Your soft smiles? That’s where the magic is.
4. Surround Yourself with the Familiar
Bring items that feel like home:
- Your favourite jacket or scarf.
- A book you love.
- Coffee mugs, tarot cards, or anything else that feels like your space
- If its your wedding day? Simply holding a drink or bouquet in your hands can help.
- Maybe even some of your decor like candles etc
These props can bring a sense of comfort and add natural texture to the photos. I once photographed someone who wore her favourite dress during her session. She told me it made her feel grounded and safe, like she was wrapped in a piece of herself. That simple choice completely transformed her comfort level, and it added such a natural, personal touch to the photos.
5. Prioritise Comfort Over Perfection
Forget perfection. Plan for comfort! When you look back on your photo's your not going to care about that fly away hair, but what you will remember is how you felt during that moment.
- Pick a quiet location.
- Schedule breaks.
- Communicate sensory needs upfront.
- Keep sessions short and sweet if needed.
Your comfort always comes first. I work with many neurodivergent and disabled folks, so I know the importance of breaks, gentle guidance and respecting your pace.
Discomfort doesn’t mean you’re "bad at photos." It means you’re human. And being human is enough.
6. Lean Into the Moody Magic
Moody, alternative photography is made for people who don’t want to perform. The rich shadows and soft light naturally suit intimate, introspective moments. No forced smiles. No awkward posing. Just connection.
This style celebrates honesty, depth, and emotion. It’s not about looking cheerful or polished. It’s about showing your real self, however messy, quiet, or fierce that may be.
The best photos aren’t about performing. They’re about being seen, as you are.
Whether it’s your wedding day or your brand story, you deserve photos that feel honest and comfortable. Photos that let you breathe and soften. Photos where you recognise yourself.
If you’re looking for someone who understands the weight of that, I’m here. No pressure. No awkwardness.
Just authentic, alternative photography for the dark, moody & the madly in love... and everyone else who doesn’t fit the usual boxes.
Get in Touch
Ready to see how comfortable it really is?
