Weddings are a lot. An incredible, exciting, emotional kind of a lot, but still... a lot.
From the moment you wake up, you're surrounded by people. Your wedding party, family, suppliers, guests. Everyone is excited to see you. Everyone wants to talk to you. Everyone wants a hug, a photo, a moment of your attention. And even when they're all people you absolutely adore, eventually your social battery might start
flashing red.
Needing a break doesn't mean you're not enjoying your wedding. It doesn't mean you're ungrateful that everyone has come to celebrate with you. And it definitely doesn't mean something is wrong. Sometimes you just need ten minutes where nobody needs anything from you.
Your wedding can be socially exhausting
There aren't many other days in your life where you're the centre of attention for hours on end. You're getting ready surrounded by people. Then you're walking into a room where everyone turns to look at you. You get married, walk back out and suddenly everyone wants to congratulate you.
Then there are photographs, drinks, conversations, dinner, speeches and more conversations. Evening guests arrive, the music starts, someone wants you on the dance floor, someone else hasn't spoken to you yet, and a family member wants to grab you for a photo.
There can be very little time during a traditional wedding day where nobody wants anything from you. For some people, they'll thrive on that. For others, particularly if you're introverted, neurodivergent, easily overwhelmed or simply someone whose social battery has a limit, it can become exhausting.
And you don't have to wait until you're completely overwhelmed before you're allowed to take yourself away.
Use me as an excuse. Seriously.
I tell my couples right from the beginning that if they need to escape at any point during their wedding, they can blame me. “Sorry, our photographer needs us for some photographs.” Perfect excuse.
Nobody questions why the photographer has disappeared with the couple for a little while. And the best bit? We don't actually have to take any photographs.
I've escorted couples back to their room because they needed some peace. I've hidden couples away in gardens with a drink. I've taken couples for a little walk where we've ended up chatting rather than taking photographs at all. I've even bundled a couple into my car and drove to maccies part way through the day!
Sometimes you just need ten minutes where you aren't required to speak to anyone, make a decision or be the centre of attention. I've had couples thank me afterwards for saving their sanity.
As far as everyone else is concerned, your photographer needed you and I'll happily take the blame.
The first 10 minutes after you get married are yours
One thing I particularly recommend is taking 10 to 15 minutes together immediately after your ceremony.You've just got married. Before you're swept into confetti, group photographs, drinks and conversations with everyone waiting to congratulate you, give yourselves a moment to actually process that.
Just the two of you.
I've even stopped people heading towards my couples' rooms because they're excited to go and see them. It's never coming from a bad place. Everyone loves you, they're excited for you and naturally they want to be part of the moment.
But there will be plenty of time for that. Those first few minutes after your ceremony? You don't get those back. Go somewhere private. Have a drink. Take your shoes off. Sit quietly together. Have a cuddle. Have a cry. Celebrate the fact that you actually just got married.
Whatever you need.
You don't need to go straight from experiencing your ceremony to being surrounded by everyone again.
Taking a break isn't wasting your wedding day
There's so much pressure surrounding weddings to soak up every second. You've spent months, sometimes years, planning it. Everyone you love is there. You're constantly told how quickly the day will go, so it can feel like stepping away for even ten minutes means you're somehow missing part of it.
But taking a break isn't missing your wedding. It's part of looking after yourself so you can actually enjoy it.
If those ten minutes allow you to recharge and enjoy the next few hours rather than pushing yourself until you're completely overwhelmed, they're ten minutes well spent. And accessibility isn't always something huge or visible. Sometimes it's simply knowing you can leave. Knowing there's somewhere quiet you can go. Knowing somebody else will deal with the people wondering where you've disappeared to. Knowing you don't have to explain why you need a moment. And knowing your photographer isn't going to follow you around with a camera when what you actually need is a little time without one.
I'll always protect your peace
My job isn't just to make beautiful photographs of your wedding. I'm there with you for a huge part of one of the biggest days of your life, and sometimes being good at that job means recognising when you don't need another photograph but instead you need a drink or some fresh air, a few minutes with your partner or simply a little while where nobody needs anything from you.
So if you disappear into the gardens with me and we come back 15 minutes later without taking a single photograph?
Nobody needs to know.
