When people hear that I'm an alternative wedding photographer, they often picture black wedding dresses, gothic venues, tattoos, piercings, smoke bombs, candles, and couples doing things a little differently. And whilst all of those things can absolutely be part of the job, they're not really what keeps me passionate about it. What keeps me passionate about it is people.
Over the years, I've had a front row seat to hundreds of relationships. I've watched people laugh until they cried, cry until they laughed, support each other through nerves, celebrate with the people they love most and make promises to one another in ways that felt completely unique to them.
Spending so much time around weddings has taught me a lot about photography. It's taught me about storytelling, lighting, composition and timing and has allowed me to keep developing my skills. But more than anything, it's taught me about love. And one of the biggest things I've learned is that love rarely looks the way we're told it should.
Love doesn't have to look a certain way
Wedding magazines, films, social media and even family expectations can sometimes make it feel like there's a "right" way to be in love. A right way to propose. A right way to get married. A right way to celebrate.
But if there's one thing alternative weddings have taught me, it's that the happiest couples are usually the ones who stop worrying about what they're supposed to do and start focusing on what feels right for them. I've photographed couples who exchanged vows in forests, castles, converted warehouses and village halls. I've photographed handfastings, traditional ceremonies, intimate elopements and celebrations with hundreds of guests. Some couples couldn't wait to be the centre of attention. Others wanted the smallest wedding imaginable. Some wrote emotional vows that left everyone in tears. Others spent their ceremony making each other laugh.
And none of them were doing it wrong.
One of the biggest things I've learned is that healthy, happy relationships don't all tell the same story. They just tell their own story well.
The moments that stay with me are rarely the big ones
When people think about wedding photography, they often think about the obvious moments. The ceremony. The first kiss. The confetti shot. The first dance. And whilst those moments are undeniably important, they're rarely the ones that stay with me the most after a wedding. It's usually the smaller moments that linger. The moments that weren't on the timeline. The ones nobody planned for. The ones that happen when people forget they're being watched.
As a photographer, I spend a lot of time observing. Not just looking for the big events of the day, but paying attention to how people interact with each other when they think nobody is noticing. It's often in those moments that you get the clearest glimpse into a relationship. Anyone can smile for a photograph. Anyone can hold a pose for thirty seconds. But the way someone instinctively reaches for their partner's hand when they're nervous, the way they look at them when they're laughing with somebody else, or the way they quietly check in with each other throughout the day tells a much deeper story.
Those moments aren't about putting on a performance. They're about comfort, familiarity and connection. They're the result of hundreds or thousands of ordinary days spent together, and that's what makes them so meaningful.
Years from now, when a couple looks back through their gallery, I don't just want them to remember what their wedding looked like. I want them to remember what it felt like. The excitement, the nerves, the relief, the joy and all those little interactions that made the day uniquely theirs.
Love often reveals itself in the smallest moments. Not because they're dramatic, but because they're real.
There is no such thing as a normal wedding
One of my favourite things about alternative weddings is that they constantly challenge the idea of what a wedding is supposed to look like. Somewhere along the way, a lot of people have been sold a very specific version of what getting married should involve. And whilst there's absolutely nothing wrong with any of those things, I've learned that the happiest weddings aren't necessarily the ones that follow the traditional script. They're the ones where the couple has given themselves permission to make decisions based on what feels right for them.
Over the years, I've photographed black wedding dresses, colourful wedding dresses and people who decided wedding dresses weren't really their thing at all. I've seen couples spend months carefully planning every detail and I've seen couples throw most of the rules out of the window and decide to just go with whatever felt fun.
What I've noticed is that the weddings people talk about most fondly afterwards are rarely the ones that looked the most like a Pinterest board. They're usually the ones where the couple felt completely comfortable being themselves. The couple who had a handfasting ceremony because it reflected their beliefs. The couple who skipped a first dance because neither of them enjoyed being the centre of attention. The couple who spent their budget on incredible food because sharing a meal with the people they love mattered more to them than chair covers and favours. The couple who got married in a woodland clearing because being outdoors felt more meaningful than standing in a traditional venue. The details are different every time, but the reason behind them is often the same. They're choosing authenticity over expectation.
I think that's why I love alternative weddings so much. They're a reminder that there isn't a universal formula for happiness. There isn't a checklist that guarantees a meaningful wedding day. What makes a wedding memorable isn't how closely it follows tradition, it's how well it reflects the people at the centre of it.
At the end of the day, nobody else has to live your marriage. Nobody else has to look back on your wedding photographs in twenty years' time. The weddings that stay with me are the ones where couples stopped asking themselves what they were supposed to do and started asking themselves what they actually wanted. The venue might change. The outfits might change. The traditions might change. But the love doesn't.
The best weddings aren't perfect
Before I became a wedding photographer, I probably assumed the weddings with the biggest budgets, the most impressive venues or the most elaborate styling would be the ones that stood out. They aren't.
Some of the weddings I remember most vividly happened in village halls, registry offices, pub function rooms and family gardens. Not because they looked better than anyone else's wedding, but because of the atmosphere in the room. There are weddings where you can feel how excited everyone is to be there. Weddings where the couple are completely present rather than worrying about schedules. Weddings where guests are genuinely invested rather than just attending because they feel obliged to. Those weddings stay with you. Over time, I've realised that what makes a wedding memorable has very little to do with perfection. It's much more about the people who fill the space and the feeling they create together.
What I've learned most
After years of photographing alternative weddings, I've realised that love has very little to do with traditions, aesthetics, budgets, guest counts or timelines. Don't get me wrong, I love a beautifully styled wedding. I love the dramatic venues, the incredible outfits, the thoughtful details and all the little touches that make a day feel unique. They're part of what makes every wedding different and they're often what catches people's attention first. But they're not what stays with me.
When I look back on the weddings I've photographed over the years, I rarely find myself thinking about centrepieces, colour palettes or whether everything went exactly to plan. What I remember are the people. The way they looked at each other during the ceremony. The way they supported one another when the nerves kicked in. The way they laughed together, celebrated together and created a day that felt completely their own. That's the thread that runs through every wedding I've ever photographed, no matter how different they may have looked on the surface.
Some couples get married in castles, some in forests and some in registry offices. Some follow every tradition in the book, whilst others throw most of them out of the window. Some weddings are loud and chaotic, others are quiet and intimate. But the thing they all have in common is that, at the centre of it all, are two people choosing each other. And honestly, that's probably what I love most about this job.
Week after week, wedding after wedding, I'm reminded that there isn't one right way to get married, and there certainly isn't one right way to love. The most meaningful weddings aren't the ones that follow the rules perfectly or look the most impressive on social media. They're the ones that feel honest, where the couple have given themselves permission to celebrate in a way that feels true to who they are.
Those are the weddings people remember.
And they're always the stories worth telling.y create together.
Ready to chat?
If you’re looking for an alternative wedding photographer who gets what you want and delivers photos you can be proud of, I’d love to hear from you.
Fill out the contact form, send me an email, or let’s chat over a coffee if you’re nearby. I’m here to help make your day feel effortless, so you can focus on what matters.
